Hmm, honestly I'm not sure, if that intentional goofiness will serve you well. I understand that you're aiming at smaller companies, however chances are, that a fraction of those companies could find this a bit unprofessional, if not unsavory Personally, I'd stick with a more minimal and serious approach. Don't get me wrong, it's good to have a laid-back appearance, but in this case I'd just play it safe (it's always better to, say, have 10 companies having a good impression, than 8, if the remaining 2 would deem the reel too corny).
Another very important thing and, by all means, I don't want to insult you, is that voice-over makes you look quite arrogant. Quoting Sniper from TF2: "Professionals have standards. Be polite. Be efficient." Go with the modest, but sharp and effective approach. Don't sound like a used car salesman. People will see it through.
Also, play it minimal, but neat. I don't know about others, but I find flashy, out of the blue pictures, with bold and sporadic colour fonts on a white background kinda annoying.
Oh, and if I were you, I wouldn't say I'm cheap. Instead, maybe say, that you offer quality product for a reasonable, negotiable price!
Good luck!
Cheers,
Krzysztof